Hello friends, hey today, I want to tell you about my experience on accutane. It’s a pretty wild experience to have taken such an intense, very much approved and used drug over that’s been used since gosh, maybe the 70s or something like that. It’s been used for definitely over 40 years. I am now 28 years old right now, I had acne. Ever since I was about the age of 17. It got really bad around the ages of 19 and 20 to the point of where I didn’t really bother trying to date. Anyone because I didn’t I just figured out. No one’s gonna want to date, someone with this much acne and it was around the age of 24 that I my acne was in a pretty good place. I had been taking minocycline and doxycycline for many years of my life and those would help sometimes not really fully fix the issue or make all my pimples go away and I also tried topical creams, benzoyl peroxide and many products similar to that, and eventually I figured well I’ve heard about accutane. Why not try it I’ve known friends that have taken it and are in a pretty good place with their skin health, and it sounds like it’s intense and, of course, I have to stop drinking alcohol, and that’s that’s okay. If this, if this makes it go away fully, then I’m I’m, all about it and so I started taking it in November of 2017 I. Remember my lips becoming very dry near the beginning of the experience and and I remember my doctor specifically saying that there are no permanent side effects and so I asked again so there’s nothing that persists after taking this medication, and she said no, and this person was just a phenomenal doctor- I really loved her her presence. There was the only time that I saw her throughout my entire experience and yeah as I was saying, I kind of experienced dry lips I noticed that kind of parts of my skin would feel more dry than usual. The acne was still there like a month into the experience and I knew that this would be a six-month process and I was beginning to date. Someone at the time and I remember it was maybe in January of 2018 so about 3 months, maybe -, half three months into the experience where I noticed that when I was getting a [, __ ], that I didn’t feel as much as I usually would and I just attributed, maybe to that to it being a newer experience in our in our sexual relationship and maybe that just the medication could dry out the skin a little bit and thus making it not as sensitive and I figured well this that sure this is. This is some sort of side effect and no, no one had told me anything about any types of sexual side effects, not at all. I was warned about suicide ideation and that some people have committed suicide on this medication and that my doctor said well, if you think about it, someone with like really bad acne, the art could be depressed and who knows what else was going on in their life? I was like okay yeah. That makes sense. That’s like pretty good reason, and then the sensitivity continued to go away. I remember when I would masturbate that it kind of took a while to get an erection and in a way that if that definitely was not happening before and and my girlfriend and I at the time she was on a completely separate. She was on the a mood medication, and so that was also affecting her sex drive. So there was also there was some interesting sexual problems going on in our relationship, then, and I would even start to notice that it was hard to get erection when we had sex. That I didn’t feel as much when we have sex and I still didn’t fully catch on to the to the damage that was being done by this medication. Of course, I was really thankful to not be drinking alcohol on it, and I would focus a lot on that positive and how my body was feeling better, because I was off of a minute, cycling, a medication that couldn’t take gosh, just the energy out of you, but then at this. At the same time, this this medication was just slowly just killing me and just like destroying my insides, like I, could just wake up and feel it in my body just be like oh yeah, my body. Doesn’t this not the normal and that relationship ended around April of 2018 and so I wasn’t having sex at the time? So I was masturbating, more and I. Just would remember those mornings when I would wake up and I wouldn’t have morning would be bored I just would wake up and just kind of have just a flaccid, penis and I was like wait. This doesn’t this doesn’t feel right and beforehand. I would have never thought about the idea of maybe like the idea of missing morning wood, because it’s like take it for granted. It’s it’s like. Oh, yes, this is a thing that, like as a man, I experience normally and I thought. Oh no like this is it like is this? Am I permanently changed by this? This was terrifying. I had terrifying experiences in the mornings of April in May of 2018, where I would kind of wake up and I would be in kind of like an almost anxiety attack, type of mode, and so eventually I asked my dermatologist hey. These things are happening. I was experiencing general anesthesia I. Looked that up on the internet, I found out about that I was experiencing weak orgasm, didn’t know that was possible. I finally learned what erectile dysfunction was that it was something where it takes a while to get an erection, it’s hard to hold an erection, and then I also noticed that my libido was going down so I just wouldn’t think about having sex really want to have sex or look at a woman that I would normally be like yeah, like I, would have sex with that person and I just and I wouldn’t feel it in my body I, like logically think yes, I, would love to have sex with that person physically just like, but then then I just wouldn’t feel anything and I would walk around just this, this asexual kind of experience- and it was as I, brought that to my doctor. He said: oh that doesn’t happen on accutane, oh I haven’t read anything about that and I would go to forums and many people are experiencing. This people have experienced this experiencing this for years, I found a [ __ ] letter that a kid wrote to their parents before they committed suicide. Talking about how they have lost complete interest in the opposite, opposite sex, and they didn’t really see a reason for living and they were on accutane. It’s and my doctor told me to stay off of the internet and just not to worry about it and then oh yeah I can dry some of the skin and make it less sensitive. Just like kind of what I was thinking near the beginning and I was like there’s a difference between losing 5 to 10% of sensitivity versus 60 to 80% of sensitivity. It would take me like 5-10 minutes to of just like vigorous, like masturbate before I would come, and when I came, it felt like this, like just sad dribble of of an experience of like whoa. Let’s have like a normal hour guy somewhere, it’s like holy [, __ ]. What yeah it’s it was insane. I I would permanently kind of develop this negative association with waking up in the morning and wanting to masturbate like wanting to be like okay, no, this time it’s gonna be different. This time it’s gonna be different out of focus on my on the sensitivity so much and like want to make it happen that and then it would just be disappointing. Every time I, eventually I finished out the accutane, because I wanted to be like this. Is it like? I have done four months of this I will finish it out six months and then I will move on with my life. I’ll never do the skin when I finally got off of this stuff. There was that, oh well. Actually there was about the week before I got off of it where I was I was taking mushrooms and during my experience there was this moment of checking in with my body, I was doing a meditation with myself and I just felt inside my body that my that everything, internally or especially the liver, the liver, gets affected by accutane a lot. That’s like you’re, not supposed to drink on it and I could feel that section of my body just being just a week and not cared for and I could feel like. In my in, like my dick that there was just there was the like blood flow like wasn’t able to get to that area, it was really interesting experience, and so, when I final
ly got off with stuff and I had the final check in with my dermatologist I told him, everything I told him about how there’s I found this study in Canada, where they listed these sexual side effects in Bullock. It’s a long list on people that were taking accutane and sexual side effects that they experienced and and I just kind of like gave him he’ll like it. I mean very just like these are matter-of-fact. This is what’s happening. You denied like listening to me and did not give me any empathy and I like made sure the nurses, like writing this [ __ ] down I printed out that Stata study gave it to him and when I left the when he left the room before I did on that appointment. He didn’t even take the study with him. It was like a three page study Wow what the [ __ ] this is insane and so I it took me about. It was, it was actually yeah, it’s crazy. It was about another year until I realized that I experienced sexual trauma through that I thought sexual trauma. That means you have to be assaulted. You have to be right. No, it can be different range of things. This was a certain type of sexual trauma that I was experiencing, and so it wasn’t until kind of my next sexual partner that I fully kind of wanted to get to the root of some of these things. So I found out that my estrogen levels were really high and that’s my loss of libido started to come back because I like changed my diet. Accordingly, I was having a lot of soy protein isolate which can raise estrogen levels and also when I got off of accutane. The weak, orgasms went away and kind of my erectile dysfunction went away as well, but the general anesthesia and the low libido kind of stayed, and so thus figuring out the low figuring out how to get my estrogen levels back to a good spot, meaning my libido come back, which was great but the general anesthesia remained, and it was a very difficult thing to get through with many sexual encounters. Since then, I kind of had a realization of like holy [. __ ], like is my dick, just not gonna, feel good for the rest of my life, and it took me trying so many different things and figuring out. Isn’t this another like body like estrogen level like vitamin level thing and I would just try to get everything on point and I eventually came to Tantra meditations and specifically the root chakra tantra meditation, the one where the sound is ROM? And it’s like a red triangle and focusing on pleasure and just the idea of bringing that pleasure around me and then out to the world into the universe and then beyond that and bringing it back slowly like broad mindfulness, back and lowered the stress of having like a sexual experience like whether it be masturbating or like penetrative sex I would just be more present with my body and somehow like like within it seriously within a month. My sensitivity went like almost back to where it was before, and it’s with even more work. Since then, it’s like it’s at a great place. It’s incredible! It’s unbelievable and so I wanted I want to tell this story and spread it to as many people as possible one to like. Let’s stop using accutane people like there’s other ways, there’s other natural, topical treatments, there’s diet, changes that can be done. I don’t have dairy anymore. There’s there’s exercise there’s other types of like personal hygiene that can be kept up and I wanted to spread the news to those that are on these forums that there is a way back to where you were before so I will be posting this on many forums to let people know that there is hope, because I lived that experience. I thought that I would never be able to really feel much in my dick again and if there’s any other follow-up to this video I might share that Tantra meditation I might share some other info. This is the story and it’s another reason to question the medicine that has been created. The the medicine that’s out there, that’s even been used for many years on millions of people bring to light what that’s really happening. So thanks for listening thanks for watching love yourselves out there, it’s gonna be great.